Saturday, 27 April 2013

My label.

Disabled! What an awful label, I wish I could get away from it. 

I have lost the ability to stand for long periods, I have lost the ability to get items from the top shelf in the supermarket (if I can get there), I have lost the ability to walk long distances.  I am disabled, but I don't want to be called that!


Thesaurus.com has this to say on the matter of being disabled:

Main Entry:
disabled[dis-ey-buhld] 
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: incapacitated
Synonyms: broken-down, confined, decrepit, disarmed, hamstrung, handicapped, helpless, hurt, incapable, infirm, laid-up, lame, maimed, out-of-action, out-of-commission, paralyzed, powerless, run-down, sidelined, stalled, weakened, worn-out, wounded, wrecked
Antonyms: able, healthy

Let me take the synonyms step-by-step:


broken-down
That makes me sound like I'm an unkempt tramp,

confined
Close, confined to my home by the DWP thanks to them stopping my DLA.

decrepit
Isn't that a building that's falling down?

disarmed
Nope, definitely got two of them, even if the connections are killing me.

hamstrung
Erm, no, I think my strings are still attached to my hams.

handicapped
Only when meeting a lady or entering a bilding, otherwise my cap is on my head.

helpless
I have help in the form of glamorous assistant Sally, who I help in turn.

hurt
YES!!! I'll go for that, I'm definitely hurting especially in my arthritic joints.


incapable
Ah, no, I am capable of many things; I just prefer them not to be negative things.

infirm
Afraid not, just poked my tummy and it's definitely solid and firm.

laid-up
No, I'm sat up at the moment, it's not bed-time yet


lame
ah, hm, close - movement, especially walking, is difficult or impossible,

maimed
Nobody did this to me.


out-of-action
If I weren't fighting the symptoms of osteoarthritis, I might go for that.


out-of-commission
Excuse me??? As all Armed Forces NCOs would say I work to survive.


paralyzed
Bah! My limbs move.

powerless
Not until the electricity prepayment meter runs out of cash.

run-down
Never in my knowledge has a car hit me and run over me.

sidelined
Never been a game player, so can't have been sidelined.

stalled
This is a house, not a stable, I'm not a horse even though my wife sometimes nags me (geddit?).

weakened
Yes, true, but so is a tree branch when half cut through.

worn-out
No, I'm not a piece of clothing.

wounded
No holes in me that shouldn't be there.

wrecked
Not sunken, not crashed, not wrecked.
 
So it looks like I can't rely on a "proper" old-fashioned word, it'll have to be more modern, more street-speak.  The problem is I don't do street-speak!

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