The Death Sentence Arrives.

It arrived yesterday, with an ominous slap on the floor by the front door.  A small brown envelope from Belfast!  OK, unsuspecting, I opened it. 
 
It took me thirty minutes to read and re-read it.
 
"Dear Mr Turtle" it starts, how dare they!  Also, if I was dear to them they wouldn't have done this to me!
 
"I decided to look at your DLA again to make sure you are getting the right money" - No you didn't you looked at it again because I failed the ESA assessment and appealed!
 
Some how, without the knowledge of my GP they looked at "Current Treatment, Medication, Symptoms and Test Results"  How you could have looked at the blood tests I've had in the last three months without consulting my GP?
 
"You can walk:

• About 130 metres
• Slowly
• In a reasonable manner" 

Where did they get 130 metres? I'd never use a weird figure like that and if I walk 30 metres I'm in pain, as I told the Health Care Professional and wrote on my assessment form. 
 
Slowly, yes, because I'm in pain.
 
In a reasonable manner?  What, 2 minutes to walk 100 metres is reasonable?  What is a reasonable manner?
 
Do they ask if, after walking that distance, I have to sit or lie down for at least an hour to recover?  No.
 
Do they ask if, after walking that distance, I can get to sleep at night because of the pain? No
 
Question: where do the government get these silly figures from?  The new High Rate Mobility distance (i.e. the worst people can't do it) will be 20m.  Shorter than the length of the House of Commons from "the Bar" to the Despatch boxes.  Shorter than the length of a cricket pitch.  Shorter than the length of a "bendy"  bus.  It's the width of the steps in Trafalgar Square!
 
The next level is 50m - walk further than that and No Mobility Mate!  50m the distance from the side of Trafalgar Square to the centre of Nelson's Column.  Less than the distance from the gate to the pitch at Lords!  20m less than the length of the walk down Downing Street to Number 10!
 
So, Iain Duncan Smith and his cronies have decided that if you can't walk down Downing Street to hand in your petition, you can't deliver it!
 
Next bit on the "Let's meet our quota", oops sorry, Decision;
 
"Preparing a cooked meal
 
You don't ned help to: 

• Use a cooker
• use kitchen tools
• carry and lift safely 

Although you have difficulty with standing, you can sit from time to time when cooking a meal for one person."

Ex-squeeze me, her over there exists, I'm married, it's a meal for TWO!

You expect me to sit and stir pans of food at eye-level?  What does the Health and Safety Executive say about that? Oh, just tried it, can't lift my arm high enough to stir a pan sitting down!

Erm, Carrying safely while cooking, NO, I have difficulty getting a pan of pasta off the cooker to the sink to drain it!  Lift the kettle? Only just, more than enough water to fill two mugs means I have to slide the kettle across the work-top and tilt the kettle to pour it.  Did they ask this? NO.  Can I lift a pint of milk, just, but talk to she-who-must-be-obeyed and she'll tell you I spill more than I pour when I use a small carton like a pint.  A litre, just right for sliding and tipping.


Then comes the biggest shock - "I can't consider any of the following:

• Walking on Slopes or uneven surfaces
• weather conditions"

HANG ON SUNSHINE!!!  Walking on slopes can't be considered, have you seen a contour map of Hastings?  Put your hand on the table, imagine the finger tips all edged up to the sea so your arm is actually north, and you see Hastings.  Five hills connected at the North end by "The Ridge", the name of the road along the ridge top.

Weather Conditions?  Have you never suffered from arthritis?  Oh, no, I forgot you work for the DWP so you would have had to pass a medical to get in there as your masters are senior members of the Eugenics Society!  Cold, wet weather makes it worse, medically proven fact. 

They got it right in 2007, but changed their minds in 2012 as I have obviously got better, how, I'd love to know! 

Oh, "Clinical examination shows: ... He has slightly reduced left knee bending... ability to lift straight left leg while lying down was reduced due to low back pain!"  NO, reduced due to Knee Pain!

"In his statement of a typical day to the Approved Disability Analyst (who I've never seen, unless the Human Cull Participant was him) Mr Turtle states gets out of bed despite joint problems and back problems"  Back problems? Where? When?

I tell you one thing, the person that wrote the "Reason for Decision" never went to a decent school, his grammar is attrocious!  Someone in the line of decision was in cloud cuckoo land, in my opinion!

Strangely, when I telephoned the Darling Wonderful People, I asked what planet their staff were on and whether the Hopeless Can't Practice person from the Acceleration to Suicide group had reported on me or someone else?  I naturally said "Add me to the 70% of people who appeal your decisions, thank you very much indeed"!

If it wasn't for Mrs T and my grand-daughters, calums list might have a new entry.  I am that desperate, it's earth shattering, I don't know how I'm going to be able to get to my appeal if I have to go to Eastbourne when/if it comes up.